5. The Buffalo Schools Finding Ways To Be Secretive Mary Pasciak continues to do good work for the Buffalo News on the education beat. She sheds light on how the…

5. The Buffalo Schools Finding Ways To Be Secretive

Mary Pasciak continues to do good work for the Buffalo News on the education beat. She sheds light on how the administrators of the Buffalo Public Schools continually try to circumvent the rules for transparency. This is great news seeing as how great the Buffalo Schools have been doing oh wait.

This isn’t a sports writer complaining about access to a stubborn athlete. This is information the public needs to determine if their children are being properly educated, which in almost all cases is not happening. Pasciak needs to be in those meetings. How could any civics lesson take place in that district if the board itself continually fights against any review by the public?

Yep, things are turning around. Can’t wait.

4. The Today Show Promo Blowing The Ending of a Tape Delayed Race

At least you didn’t pay $2.2 billion dollars to screw it up.

3. Wasting The Time of the Coast Guard

These folks usually react well to having their legs pulled. The guy apparently jumped into the river during a domestic dispute.

“What do you want Martha? YOU WANT ME TO JUMP IN A RIVER HUH DO YOU WELL YOU’LL BE SORRY WHY ARE ALL THE COPS HERE?”

Well sir I’m sure you’ve won her heart.

2. The Entire Race for the 60th Senate District

Money is coming in from practically everywhere due to how Mark Grisanti voted on gay marriage. People are either hugely supportive or want him to lose out of spite – the law has little to no chance of repeal.

What’s the line on voter turnout for this district? 20%? 10%?

1. Not Being Able To Do Anything Without A Beer Tent

“Hi Buffalo, I’m your son and this is the way that you hurt me. Buffalo, when I bring my girlfriend to a festival because it’s an excuse to look at her in really short shorts, we always find you by the beer tent with your overweight and balding friends from work. You sweat everywhere and shout at us even though the blues band stopped like five minutes ago. Your creepy friends keeping staring at my girlfriend’s chest which makes it really hard for me to look at it later without her completely creeping out. You were a much better alcoholic when you had to stay inside. These beer tents are ruining my life because no one looks decent or respectable in them even though they’re usually at churches.” – scene from An Intervention for a City

Remove all beer tents, then tell me how good of a festival town we are when all that shows up is tumbleweed.

Correction: In a previous update, Trending Buffalo reported that Larry Korab had coined the phrase “blow it out your tailpipe.” In fact, Larry Korab is the pseudonym for The Defenseman, who writes for the Dear God, Why Us? blog. You may follow him on Twitter by searching @TheDefenseman. Trending Buffalo regrets the error.

6 Comments

    • And also, welcome to “any city festival in any city ever.” In fact, in Chicago, for instance, you don’t even have to stay in a tent to drink your beer! You can take it with you whilst taking in the street festival! I KNOW! And also, also, beer in the sunshine with friends is fun. Calm down.

  1. I appreciate your views on Buffalo public schools, ever since the “volleyball” incident at McKinnley, I have noticed people like Williams really do not do anything for our schools or children, it is all about them, their little power fiefdoms and of course money.
    But dude seriously, you are gonna complain about guys staring at your woman’s chest? And I am tired of you full head of hair freaks constantly taking shots at us men that are bald, balding, whatever.
    Beer seems to be a part of our culture, I do not even like the taste of beer but I do not put people down who drink it. It was a low shot to generalize people in a beer tent as not looking decent or respectable, who do you think you are? Better than everyone else because you do not drink beer. I bet the only reason your mad is because you woman probably wanted to go in the tent in the first place, lol.

  2. Useless article people drink beer, men look at chicks chests, dont bring her out in public if your or her do not anyone to look at her, I don’t think I have ever been to a festival anywhere that doesn’t serve beer

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