Yahoo! Answers- Bauch Saves The World

A long time ago, I stumbled upon a great website, Yahoo Answers. Anyone with a computer can post general or detailed questions and allow the World to guide them through this journey known as life.

I don’t know everything, but I enjoy browsing and helping. Most of these people need serious help. And, because I like to ruin Trending Buffalo as much as possible with pointless entries, I figured I’d post some Yahoo Answers here. I hope you enjoy these important lessons.

Again, these are real questions from, I can only assume, real people.

Teresa

Which one is smaller 0.125 or 0.025?

Dear Teresa,

That’s a really good question. Thanks!- Greg

Melody

Does x factor usa send a rejection email if you don’t make the online audition?

Dear Melody,

Not always. Go to the X Factor place and demand an answer. They like spunk. – Greg

45

How long do you think you will live?

Dear 45,
I’m not sure. Why? What do you know? Please respond. – Greg

Alex

Why can’t God give 0bama cancer so he dies like chavez?

Dear Alex,
I’m pretty sure that, if God did things like that, you’d have Cancer.- Greg

Ariana

GUYS: what does smiling when a girl laughs mean? so i started laughing and he turned back around and asked “what’s so funny?” and then he gave a really big smile.

Dear Ariana,
That means he’s going to kill you. -Greg

icewhip

If a guy really loves you does he show it?

Dear Icewhip,
No. Never.  -Greg

ααяση!

Does cocaine help with alertness and recovery from being hung over?

Dear Aaron,

Cocaine will pretty much solve all of your problems. -Greg

Greyeyes

Guys: do you like being hugged under the arms or around the neck?

Dear Greyeyes,

I’d go with one arm under and one arm over. -Greg

SuperStar..

How to make someone think your insane?

Dear SuperStar,
Not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re” is a good start. – Greg

Chewy

Can I watch television live?

Dear Chewy,
That’s called plays… and, yes. – Greg

Kris

Idk what is wrong feel weird? i was scratching the back of my head and now i have a bad headache.

Dear Kris,
Do you have a hook for a hand? That’s probably it. – Greg

R0SE

Could I be bananasexual? We had bananas  and my friend kept asking me if I liked the banana he had and it really turned me on.

Dear Rose,
I would leave my wife for you. Please contact me. – Greg

Ernest
How do you keep a cold? My voice sounds so deep and cool and I just want to stay this way because it gives me confidence.

Dear Ernest,

That’s easy. Just start smoking. Glad I can help. – Greg

 sugarrush

Will red hair look good on me? Honest.?

Honestly, Sugarrush? No. It won’t. – Greg

Zalan

I think my fish has an itch help!? my fish has hiv or something.

Dear Zalan,
First off, I don’t know if itching is a symptom of AIDS, but I’m not a doctor. Secondly, you should really contact all of the fish your fish has had sex with. They deserve to know. – Greg

John

How do i recruit 5 star players in ncaa football 2012?

Dear John,
You need a time machine. – Greg

Khloe
I think I might be drunk? Ok, so I’m a 13 year old girl and I’m out to eat with my friends family who are all alcoholics. I’m really scared because I told them I liked sea food and they told me to try the beer battered fish and chips so I ordered that and I ate the whole darn thing! Am I drunk? I have the spins and I’m really scared for school tomorrow, what if I’m hungover? HELP.

Dear Khloe,

Good news. School will never matter for you. You can miss a few days. – Greg