So, Bills Head Coach Doug Marrone wants each of his guys to “Play like a Bill,” eh?
Coach, you just got here, so let’s be clear about one thing. We don’t want this team to play ANYTHING like the Bills, thank you very much.
“Play like a Bill” means:
- Innovation… in finding new and creative ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
- Emotion… in shredding the hearts and souls of your fans every year.
- Almost certain victory… for opponents.
- HesiTrent and Eddie Robinson and Kendrick Office and punt catcher and Captain Checkdown and sails out of our wind and fourth & stupid and punting from scoring position and McKelvin’s fumble and Ernest Wilford and Peyton Manning’s 33 yard rushing TD and 13 seasons out of the playoffs and Travis Henry’s option pass and Brian Brohm and Fitztragic and James Hardy and Mayhem Maybin and Fire Dick Now billboards and it was Fred’s turn and Kelly Holcomb and Wade’s headset and Gregg’s air horn and Ralph and it’s Tuesday so it must be Brussels and Mike Williams and J.P Losman quoting Yoda and theoretical waterfront stadiums and prank phone calls and TERRELL OWENS GETTING THE KEY TO THE CITY and Derrick Dockery and Langston Walker and Robert Royal and GM Marv Levy and Tom Brady’s hotel and Gibran Hamdan’s hair and Beast Mode on Chippewa and not so fast Freddie Smith and Whitner’s taser and making every tight end in the NFL an all-pro and Monday Night against Dallas and Jason Peters and Willis McGahee at Dave & Buster’s and John McCargo and Torell Troup and the Willie Parker game and the Brad Smith wildcat and I’m worth millions Ko Simpson and games against the Cleveland Browns and Coy Wire jumping out of a pool and Turk Schonert and QB guru David Lee and Shawn Merriman and Vince Young and god making Stevie drop a TD pass and it’s hard to win games in this league and Keith Ellison and Mario Williams’ wrist and Mario Williams’ fiancée and Mario Williams’ fridge and Russ Brandon’s inventory and cranes in Toronto and Tom Donahoe being embarrassed to be a part of this community.
E.J. Manuel, if you’re out there listening… never ever ever never ever look in the mirror and tell yourself to “Play like a Bill.”
Play like a Jim.