The Bills played a football game in New England on Sunday. Here’s how it went.

Hi. Ryan Nagelhout from The Goose’s Roost here. The Bills played a football game in New England on Sunday. Here’s how it went.


Problem is, there’s no one in a floral print dress to save us.

First Quarter

12:29-10:31 — Three Bills penalties, 9-yard Fred Jackson run, Bills punt (0-0 tie)

Some cats just want to watch the world burn.

6:04 — Stephen Gostkowski kicks 43-yard field goal (3-0 Patriots)

Could have been worse, I guess.

5:24 — Ryan Fitzpatrick sacked by Vince Wilfork. Fitzpatrick fumbles. Jermaine Cunningham recovers (3-0 Patriots)

We just wanted to get clean.

3:54 — Stevan Ridley runs for 1-yard touchdown (10-0 Patriots)

Ten minutes in and there’s already a bathtub full of blood.

Second Quarter

12:07 — Rian Lindell kicks 41-yard field goal (10-3 Patriots)

Good contact.

9:09 — Danny Woodhead ran for 15-yard touchdown (17-3 Patriots)

What he said.

7:59 — Fitzpatrick throws 23-yard pass to Scott Chandler (17-3 Patriots)

I’m not seeing it here. Probably a bad connection.

7:19 — Fitzpatrick throws 17-yard pass to Chandler (17-3 Patriots)

Nope, still nothing.

6:46 — C.J Spiller runs for 12-yard gain (17-3 Patriots)

Jiggle the cables a bit.

6:03 — Jackson runs for 14-yard touchdown (17-10 Patriots)


4:42 — Patriots gain 52 yards on two penalties (17-10 Patriots)

They’re getting pretty good at backpedaling.

3:54 — Tom Brady throws 2-yard touchdown to Rob Gronkowski (24-10 Patriots)

The ladies in pink are your loved ones. They just want to help you get better.

0:31 — Fitzpatrick throws 3-yard touchdown to Chandler (24-17 Patriots)

What you do in your basement is none of my concern, Sailor Moon.


I hear it’s double XP.

Third Quarter

11:18 — Brady sacked by Marcel Dareus and Kyle Williams (24-17 Patriots)

8:44 — Bills go three-and-out. Bills punter punts. Penalty (24-17 Patriots)

Oh, Bills. That’s SO Raven of you.

7:06 — Brady throws 18-yard touchdown to Woodhead (31-17 Patriots)

Now would be a good time to develop another Sunday afternoon hobby.

5:46 — Fitzpatrick throws for three straight first downs (31-17 Bills)

I mean, I guess we could stay for a few more minutes…

1:37 — Jackson runs for 1-yard touchdown (31-24 Patriots)

This would have been used for Woodhead if we were Patriots fans.

Fouth Quarter

14:10 — Gostkowski kicked a 48-yard field goal on 4th and 2 from the 30 (34-24 Patriots)

Pretty conservative for THE GENIUS. Then again, it worked.

10:33 — Fitzpatrick throws 25-yard pass to Spiller (34-24 Patriots)

Still a game! In the fourth quarter!

9:35 — Jackson runs for 12 yards to the two. He fumbles. Officials rule him down. (34-24 Patriots)

Patriots challenge

It’s a good thing he’s a genius head coach. He’d make a shit quarterbacks coach.

Overturned. Patriots ball.

Just tear it all down.

9:16 — Patriots go three-and-out, punt (34-24 Patriots)

The most improbable thing you saw all day.

7:47 — Fitzpatrick throws 2-yard touchdown to Donald Jones (34-31 Patriots)

What a solo.

2:06 — Gostkowski kicks 27-yard field goal (37-31 Bills)

Two minute warning! Two timeouts! This is happening!

1:56 — Fitzpatrick throws 21-yard pass to Stevie Johnson (37-31 Patriots)

1:50 — Fitzpatrick throws 14-yard pass to Jones (37-31 Patriots)

0:59 — Fitzpatrick throws 7-yard pass to Jackson. Jackson fumbles (37-31 Patriots)

Bills recover.

Not even a Fred Jackson concussion is slowing this victory train down!

0:59 — Fitzpatrick throws 8-yard pass to Chandler to the 29 (37-31 Patriots)

0:39 — Fitzpatrick throws 14-yard pass to Spiller to the 15 (37-31 Patriots)

The death grip is loosening! This is it!

0:23 — Fitzpatrick throws to the end zone, intercepted by Devin McCourty (37-31 Patriots)

At least the wipers still work.


Early November is usually when the hatred starts to bloom.

You, at Work This Week

See you next… wait, Thursday? Crap. See you Thursday.

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