A safe haven in a barbed wire jungle.

The internet is a scary place, especially the ‘comments’ section of any YouTube video. The internet can also be magical. Yahoo Answers is a safe haven in a barbed wire jungle.

People need answers. My Dad used to answer all of my questions but, my Dad isn’t with us anymore. He’s in Florida. I need to answers these questions myself. Occasionally, I log onto Yahoo Answers and help America and the other countries. Please use this information with care.

Again, these are real questions from Yahoo Answers.



Should I follow my dream?

Dear Dysthymin, Follow it until it gets hard. Then, give up because, seriously, who has the time?



Don’t you hate it when you burp soda out of your nose?

Dear Julia, I kind of like it. Let’s be Facebook friends.


Tiger Woods

Will The Bolsheviks Rise Again?

Dear Tiger, Why? So you can have sex with them??!!!



How to stop being in love with someone?

Dear Dorian, Marry them.



How do i cook my spaghettis?

Dear Breanna, Cook them shits tight.



What’s a good site to download free music?

Dear Y.M.M., Yeah right, like I’m falling for that one. Nice try, government stoolie.


George TFPGH

Do you eat differently when nobody’s looking?

Dear George, When no one is looking, I pretend like my food is Cobra and my mouth is the Joes.



What should I do if a girl smiles at me when I’m walking down the street?

Dear Waffle, If she’s wearing a red dress, run. She’s about to turn into an agent. If not, jump on top of her and never let her leave.


Where can I get a job in Sydney?

Dear Scott, I know they have a nice opera house. Start there.



How can I get my parents to listen to me?

Dear Qosimo, Burn everything.



What it means when guy say he still have a special place in his heart for you?

Dear Ashley, It means that the girl he dumped you for is annoying and he wants to keep his options open.


Lord THand

What’s the worst thing that ever happened?

Dear Lord THand, It’s a toss-up between ‘St. Elmo’s Fire’ and the Jaguars uniforms.



My friends don’t like me anymore?

Dear Jorge, That’s not even a question. I can’t blame them.



ADHD- How do I start studying?

Dear Dotdotdot, It’s raining again.


Sophie Brown

What is the song when they are at the party?

Dear Sophie Brown, I think you’re thinking of the Beastie Boys… or Lionel Richie. Either way, you’re covered.


I hope this helps.


1 Comment

  1. Mr. Bauch, I must disagree with your advice on question #1, “Should I follow my dream?”
    Following your dreams can be such a waste of time and a pain in the butt. I would much rather find out where my dreams are going and hook up with them later.
    Joke stolen from a comedian who died way too young.

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