(Editor’s note: Mixed into a rambling narrative about the current state of affairs in the NFL loaded with historical and pop culture references, Mr. Brutal makes some football picks. Why does he call it the “War of 1812 Football Prognostication”? He likes history, he’s Canadian, Bob Gaughan is American and includes his picks as well.)
Thursday, September 25, 2014
New York Football Giants @ WASHINGTON (-5) 45
The District of Columbia’s favorite football team is coming off a big disappointing 37-34 loss in a brawling donnybrook with their arch rival NFC East foes, the Philadelphia Eagles. Washington played well under the leadership of QB Kirk Cousins and he seems to better fit the offense of head coach Jay Gruden and nominal offensive coordinator Sean McVay.
As usual however, the Washington owner is not happy. Diminutive Danny Snyder favors savior QB RG III calling the shots when he returns from injury sometime later in the year and has made it loudly clear that it doesn’t matter how well Cousins plays. So also as usual, he is leaving the second-guessing Sword of Damocles dangling over his GM and coach and undermining Cousins from the start.
Also, the Washington Nationals are stealing a lot of sports headlines from his football team this week as they enter the MLB Playoffs and the stature-challenged one is intolerant of that development. Danny has never trusted the media and has sued various reporters and their employers over the years if any of their criticisms got under his skins’s extremely meager width. As a result, several years ago he bought a number of Mid-Atlantic radio stations to broadcast his team’s games and to try to steer the journalistic narrative and control the editorial content as it pertains to his football team. His heavy-handed approach and the fluffy propaganda they broadcast involving the activities of his team got them labelled “Dan Jezeera” by the other local media.
“Mayhem grows from the seeds of ignorance, neglect & the right of privilege dominating the powerless.” – Unknown
In the fictional world of television, the fantastic developments in “Breaking Bad” develop mostly from the fatal flaws in a healthcare system that exists without a basic social contract to provide for all citizens. The hedonistic criminal disorder in “Ray Donovan” develops to a great degree from the original sin of organized religion’s scandalous reluctance to reveal felonious pedophiles within its own ranks.
And the ongoing name controversy, constant upheaval, lawsuits, general distastefulness and lack of on-field success surrounding the Washington Unmentionables is the result of a spoiled little ego-maniacal tyrant who was likely never told during his upbringing that he couldn’t have a second helping of anything if he so desired it.
However, the Giants are not very good, are coming off a victory over an overrated Houston Texans team, and have probably been celebrating that mediocre accomplishment a little too much instead of preparing properly this shortened week.
Washington has more talent, better offensive and defensive schemes and a quarterback that everyone but the owner believes in. This should be one-sided, but not as catastrophic as last Thursday’s complete Press Gang Impressment (clever War of 1812 reference) of the Buccaneers by the Falcons.
Mr. Brutal: Rufescent Epidermis -5
Bob: Washington Native Americans -5