Hi. The Bills played a home game against the Jets on Sunday. Here’s how it went.
It’s probably best to skip this one and hope they lose.
15:00 — Rian Lindell kicks off (0-0 tie)
This is when you realize you won’t be happy no matter who wins this game. This feeling didn’t go away.
9:00 — Nick Folk kicked a 47-yard field goal (3-0 Jets)
Oh don’t mind me, I just have no idea what to do with myself over here.
4:58 — Bills drive stalls at Jets 44. Bills punter punts (3-0 Jets)
3:34 — Mark Sanchez intercepted by Bryan Scott, who returns it for a touchdown (7-3 Bills)
Then you realize the Bills will probably win and you go…
Second Quarter12:23 — Tim Tebow hands off to Joe McKnight, who runs for a 2-yard gain (7-3 Bills)
He just wins, you guys.
10:54 — Folk kicks 23-yard field goal (7-6 Bills)
Nick Folk you better score some touchdowns right quick. Field goals aren’t going to cut it, buddy.
9:50 — Tim Tebow yawns (7-6 Bills)
SEC SPEED on that yawn. Heart of a champion.
9:10 — Bills go three-and-out. Bills punter punts (7-6 Bills)
This is getting easier.
6:38 — Sanchez throws 40-yard pass to Jeremy Kerley for 40 yard gain (7-6 Bills)
It always looks weird when your starting quarterback throws to your wildcat quarterback.
3:49 — Folk hits 28-yard field goal (9-7 Jets)
Thanks for that, Worf. In other news, the Bills are trailing!
3:21 — Ryan Fitzpatrick throws 66-yard touchdown to C.J. Spiller (14-9 Bills)
Or something. Go hump a jukebox.
Is it safe to come out yet? No? Okay…
14:45 — Spiller runs for 2-yard loss, fumbles. Yeremiah Bell recovers (14-9 Bills)
All kinds of mixed messages there.
13:18 — Folk’s 30-yard field goal attempt blocked by Marcel Dareus (14-9 Bills)
STOP DOING COOL THINGS!
9:36 — Punt, punt (14-9 Bills)
Just a bunch of unstable characters trading punches. Nothing to see here…
3:14 — Lindell misses 50-yard field goal (14-9 Bills)
Turn the cameras off.
3:05 — Sanchez sacked by Spencer Johnson. Sanchez fumbled. Nigel Bradham recovers (14-9 Bills)
Oh, Mark. I’m going to miss you most of all.
0:52 — Lindell misses 46-yard field goal (14-9 Bills)
Here, take the rest of them.
Fourth Quarter14:46 — Fitzpatrick throws 37-yard pass to Stevie Johnson (14-9 Bills)
You fools are going to win this thing, aren’t you?
10:52 — Brad Smith runs for 4-yard touchdown (21-9 Bills)
You said it, Smeagol.
8:49 — Sanchez throws five incomplete passes in one drive. Jets punter punts (21-9 Bills)
At least he ends up with the girl at the end.
7:14 — Punt, punt (21-9 Bills)
You may not have noticed, but this totally happened.
5:34 — Bilal Powell rushes for 1-yard loss on 4th and 1 (21-9 Bills)
3:46 — Smith rushes for 16-yard WILDCAT gain (21-9 Bills)
I hate all of you so much.
2:15 — Spiller runs for no gain (21-9 Bills)
This can’t be the last time we see Spiller this season, right?
2:00 — Tashard Choice runs for 5-yard gain (21-9 Bills)
1:10 — Choice runs for 13-yard touchdown on 4th and 4 (28-9 Bills)
Someday, Chan. Someday you’ll pay for all this.
0:14 — Sanchez throws 18-yard pass to J-OH WHO CARES IT’S OVER (28-9 Bills)
End of Game
We did it, everyone. We survived.
You, When You Heard Chan Gailey Got Fired
You, When You Realized Buddy Nix Still Has a Job
There’s always next year.
Thanks for staying with us through the season, guys. This was fun.