4 games in, Bills LB Kiko Alonso is on the fast track to the 2013 NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year award. Yesterday’s 2 interception performance (including the game-sealer) has the football world caught up in…
The Legend of Kiko.
This afternoon, ESPN got in on the action, interviewing Alonso on SportsCenter.
As the foundation of any good legend is built upon oral tradition (see definition 1), we choose not to watch the video but rather to learn of it only through the written account of DGWU’s The Barrister.
Jesus this SportsCenter interview. Kiko is clowning people. So CHILL.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. I love you, Kiko. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
I didn’t think it could get better with him this quickly, but man. ESPN is scratching their heads at what they just aired. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
But seriously. I hope he’s not smoking pot. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
.@TheHosers_DSJ nothing in particular. It’s the WAY he says it. Like he’s getting a lobotomy. It’s the best. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
ESPN reporter opened with asking Kiko about his real name – “Christian” … you could see the smoke coming out his nose. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
He explains Kiko was a nickname from parents. Reporter asks “why?” Kiko wonders about the physics of reaching through camera to choke her. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
His actual answer along the lines of “why the fuck would I know my parents’ thinking two decades ago?” Anchor tells him he has “homework.”
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
KIKO DOESN’T FUCK WIT NO HOMEWORK THO.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
Conversation moves to the awesome moves he displays on the field. Kiko nods with the air of “people been blowing me for the last 20 hours” — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
Kiko explains that he’s been putting in hard work at practice. Somewhere Jairus Byrd sheds a single guilty tear. — Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
Anchor asks about EJ Manuel. Kiko praises EJ as he should, wonders why they’re no longer talking abut how Kiko fucked up Flacco’s universe.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
They then talk about college football, and Kiko visibly smiles remembering the fun times before drug tests and a town with ugly strippers.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
The interview ends with mention of the Thursday night game that no one but Kiko is looking forward to. He snarls with his eyes. We rejoice.
— Barrister (@theycallmedubs) September 30, 2013
Awesome.
The video is here but we’re not going to watch because that’s not how #TheLegendofKiko grows.
