The Bills played a game against the Rams on Sunday. Here’s how it went.

Oh hello there. Ryan from The Roost. The Bills played a game against the Rams on Sunday. Here’s how it went.

Pregame

“Hey is the game on TV? OH NO RUN!”

First Quarter

13:19 Bills go three-and-out (0-0 tie)

11:51 — Rams go three-and-out (0-0 tie)

9:50 — Bills go three-and-out (0-0 tie)

7:51 — Rams go three-and-out (0-0 tie)

7:51 — Ryan Fitzpatrick throws 19-yard pass to Donald Jones (0-0 tie)

OH DID THE GAME START?

5:50 — Spiller gets 15 yards on screen pass on 3rd and 12 (0-0 tie)

Roll of thunder, hear his cry.

2:14 — Rian Lindell kicks 35-yard field goal (3-0 Bills)

Sometimes an apology just isn’t enough.

1:41 — Rams go three-and-out (3-0 Bills)

It’s only fitting that Mike Martz watched this game from the Fox Broadcast Booth of Misery and Woe.

1:36 — Fitzpatrick throws 23-yard pass to Scott Chandler (3-0 Bills)

This was actually really nice.

0:51 — Fitzpatrick throws 34-yard pass to Stevie Johnson (3-0 Bills)

This was nicer.

0:00 — Fred Jackson runs for 1-yard loss. Jackson fumbles. (3-0 Bills)

Thanks for that, Fred.

Second Quarter

15:00 — Stephen Jackson runs for 12 yards (3-0 Bills)

First down! Sometimes it feels good to be happy for others.

13:09 — Rams punt (3-0 Bills)

It also feels good to laugh.

13:09-4:53 — Punt. Punt. Punt (3-0 Bills)

It’s a battle of wills!

1:15 — Sam Bradford throws interception to Stephon Gilmore, who returns it for a touchdown

Touchdown called back on a holding penalty (3-0 Bills)

I’m sure they can punch it in anyway.

Let’s skip the blow-by-blow and just use this:

0:07 — Lindell kicks 40-yard field goal (6-0 Bills)

The best part of this all is that they gave the guy that engineered the Music City Miracle seven seconds to work with.

Halftime

Also:

Even though DJ Cat is a Rays fan, I love him dearly.

Third Quarter

10:28 — Bradford throws 22-yard pass to Brandon Gibson (6-0 Bills)

9:50 — Bradford throws 16-yard pass to Gibson (6-0 Bills)

9:44 —Bradford throws 8-yard pass to Chris Givens (6-0 Bills)

8:37 — Jackson runs for 1-yard touchdown (7-6 Rams)

Bring out the rain and the Bills defense goes:

8:30 — C.J. Spiller runs for 13-yard gain (7-6 Rams)

That’s about enough of you, guy.

7:22 — Spiller runs for 13-yard gain (7-6 Rams)

Get on the bench and stay there, superstar!

3:26 — Fitzpatrick throws 2-yard touchdown to Lee Smith (12-7 Bills)

Get ready for an awkward white guy celebration!

Smith leaps into crowd to celebrate touchdown

And while you were all rewinding to watch him go ass over teakettle again…

Botched snap, no extra point (12-7 Bills)

Still better than crying. That comes later.

Fourth Quarter

14:46 — Rams punter fumbles, gets off most improbable punt ever

11:41 — Lindell lines up for 52-yard field goal. Bills call timeout (12-7 Bills)

You know what’s coming.

11:41 — Bills punter punts (12-7 Bills)

Let’s go down on the field and chat with Chan Gailey for a moment.

Okay… let’s see if Rian Lindell is available for comment.

11:41-4:55 — Punt. Punt. Punt. Punt (12-7 Bills)

Why do we do this to ourselves? What is life? Where is happiness?

Meanwhile:
5:38 — Fred Jackson runs for 2-yard gain. Jackson injured on the play. (12-7 Bills)

No, Taylor. He’s not. And while we’re at it, neither are you.

3:17 — Bradford throws 22-yard pass to passed to Lance Kendricks (12-7 Bills)

Here it comes.

1:07 — Bradford throws 15-yard pass to Gibson (12-7 Bills)

Almost there.

0:48 — Bradford throws 13-yard touchdown pass to Gibson (13-12 Rams)

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

Bradford throws to Givens for two-point conversion (15-12 Rams)

0:12 — Fitzpatrick intercepted by Jo-Lonn Dunbar (15-12 Rams)

Rap game routine crushing loss.

Postgame

You, at Work This Week

Protect what’s yours. We’ll see you next week.

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