What the hell is the deal with First Niagara Bank’s advertising campaign?

Ads can suck in so many different ways. They can be grating. They can insult us by pretending we care about what a company is selling as much as they do. They can misunderstand what we want or need. And they can simply not be true. This radio spot from First Niagara effortlessly combines all these, and more:

“I’m John Koelmel, President and CEO of First Niagara.  The long wait is finally over.  We now have more than 200 branches across New York State to make it even easier for you to bank with us and we’re very excited to welcome 1,200 new teammates to the First Niagara family.  Not only will we have a bigger and better team working for you, but we’re also retaining important jobs in each of our communities and that means there will be more of us working even harder to bring that passionate First Niagara service and commitment to all of our customers and communities, new and old.  You can always count on us to make good things happen and empower you to thrive.  We’re ready to rock and roll, Buffalo and Western New York, and it’s going to be something really special.”

Problem #1 – I don’t want to hear from a bank.

Do you know when I want to hear from a bank? Never.

Banks are like hot water heaters; we replace them when there’s a problem. The fact that I even have to hear from you makes me think there’s a problem. It feels like you’re trying to “get ahead” of something, like when my wife calls me to say that everything is all right. I know that it’s not your fault that you’re a bank, but that’s the reality. Bottom line: I don’t want to hear from a bank. Ever.

Problem #2 – John Koelmel is not Steve Tasker.

“I’m John Koelmel, President and CEO of First Niagara.”

John Koelmel

By the way Koelmel, we blame you and your stupid bank name for ruining the atmosphere in our hockey arena too.

What the… is that your real voice, John? If so, maybe it should have dawned on you sometime in the last 50+ years that you’re not the ideal candidate for delivering a radio message.

I get that you’re a bank President and freaking CEO. But that does not suddenly imbue you with a winning ease and charm, in the same way that becoming a weatherman does not imbue one with the skills to perform bypass surgery. Frankly, you sound like you’re delivering this message while pulling 4G’s from the back seat of a fighter jet. The fact that you appear oblivious to how you come off tells me that you have surrounded yourself with people who are afraid to tell you the truth. And somebody should have told you by now that there’s something downright scary about your vocal delivery.

Here’s another tip — Buffalo is a blue collar town. When someone tells me they’re “President AND…” I immediately replace whatever word they’re going to say next with “…Dbag.” It’s like saying “Ruler AND Overlord” — we get it, you’re in charge — the “Overlord” part just seems like piling on.

Problem #3 – Did we really ask for this?

“The long wait is finally over. We now have more than 200 branches across New York State…”

Long wait? Long wait? Buffalo is waiting for many things. We want a better-functioning government, we want less infighting, a new bridge, and most of all we want a major sports championship. But even if we were to make a list of 10,000 things we kind of want and are still waiting for, nowhere on that list would we write down “200 branches for First Niagara!” Get over yourself.

Problem #4 – It’s just really not true. At all.

“…to make it even easier for you to bank with us …”

Easier? Seriously? You know what WAS easy? Me coexisting with my previous bank, where we had established the ground rules (they take some of my money on a regular basis, and they never, ever contacted me). Do you know what was not easy? The transition to First Niagara, which included having to do the following:

  • re-establish my autopays, automatic withdrawals, etc. (this takes hours),
  • find out that the new checks you issued were tied to a long dead and empty checking account with the ensuing bounced check mayhem,
  • wait for new ATM cards with no way to get to my money,
  • discover that the new ATM machine isn’t functioning yet,
  • correct your mistaken auto-pay system to prevent 3 double payments,
  • make good on the fees charged to my auto-pay recipients because their deposits bounced;
  • multitple bank visits, voice mails, and phone calls to resolve all of the above.

Problem #5 – Um, you’re still a bank.

After the necessary and meaningless filler section about jobs, empowerment, and commitment, the ad wraps up by saying,

“We’re ready to rock and roll, Buffalo and Western New York, and it’s going to be something really special.”

Rock and roll? Rock and roll is about sticking it to the man, breaking the rules, and taking risks. Running a bank is about carrying the two, calculating compound interest, and not contacting me. Isn’t it enough that we passively endure your growing pains with you? Do you also insist that we imagine each new branch cranking up the Van Halen, trashing the lobby, and setting fire to the ATM’s?

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And below is the audio clip of this commercial just in case you want to have another listen to the radio advertising gold.

CLICK HERE TO HEAR THE FIRST NIAGARA COMMERCIAL

11 Comments

  1. Like Rosa Parks; you are a trial-blazer! When this guy started doing ads earlier this year I’m like “are you kidding me?” He obviously has a bunch of yes-man around him who all nodded their heads when he said he should do these commercials.

    Somewhere in America former Big E President Paul Willax is laughing at him…

  2. As a rank and file First Niagara employee, I echo the sentiments of this post.

    The way in which we undertook several aspects of the merger, the massive advertising expenditure on the heels of two straight years in which bonuses were cut (while Komel et al received seven digit compensation packages), and the equally massive expenditure on our lame internal “Something Really Special” corporate culture campaign show me bank leadership really has its priorities backwards…

    … ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF OUR PUTRID STOCK PERFORMANCE DURING KOMEL’S TENURE.

    One hilarious illustration of the way in which we bungled parts of the HSBC merger: the several hundred thousand pieces of mail returned to sender because addresses were not confirmed with HSBC. How many tens of thousands of dollars had to be spent resending everything?!? Adios 2012 bonuses…

    • Addresses not confirmed with HSBC? Not sure what your source is, but bad data is bad data. The addresses came from HSBC in the first place. If you’re told X=Y, but X=Z, not much can be done to correct that until you have enough information to change X=Y to X=Z.

      Stock prices naturally dip during recessions. Add the housing bubble explosion causing a lack of confidence in financial institutions, and the wait-and-see approach investors take when companies make acquisitions, and it’s a perfect storm for a price drop.

      FN is in a unique position because they didn’t have any toxic assets to sell off like most other banks did when the housing bubble burst. They didn’t have to take a financial hit, nor did they take significant bailout money (especially compared to HSBC, M&T & Key Bank), instead they went on an acquisition spree. They went on the offensive when most everyone else was in repair and rebuild mode. If the economy chooses to swing up and the bank takes a break from acquiring, the stock price will rise, and rise quickly.

  3. I’ve worked for every relevant bank in WNY at some point over the past 15 years or so. Yes, there are outliers who think it’s funny and/or true that everyone’s experience is the same as theirs, however the merger went fine. I think to be balanced, that Trending Buffalo should attempt to contact First Niagara’s PR department for comment instead of just slamming a local bank.

    I do have a few points to make, but (disclaimer coming) please know these comments do not reflect the views of First Niagara, HSBC, M&T, or anyone or institution. These are the comments and opinions of one individual. Also, {insert whatever you’re supposed to say here to not get me sued}.

    Problem #1 – I don’t want to hear from a bank.
    Yes, you do. Had the change occurred without any communication, you’d complain about that instead. During a transaction such as this, there are federal requirements regarding communication that need to be followed. Key Bank (

    Problem #2 – John Koelmel is not Steve Tasker
    You’re using Steve Tasker as a comparison for a good pitch man. Enough said.

    Problem #3 – Did we really ask for this?
    No, you didn’t, but don’t blame First Niagara. HSBC made the decision to pull out of the United States. Western New York was hit hardest by this decision. Want to know why HSBC made that decision? Because dbags like David Anderson, a self-entitled American who feels like the most important thing Buffalo needs is to win a sports championship, also seem to feel that companies are responsible for every problem in their lives, don’t read communications or pick up the phone when their current bank tried to communicate with them. Next time, if you don’t want your bank to change, take out a credit card with them so they can make a few bucks.

    HSBC was hemorrhaging money in the US (sans NYC), that is why they kept their presence everywhere else – South America, the Pacific Rim, China, India, Europe (despite the instability and potential crash of the entire economy), and even Canada – and ditched the US. That should tell you something about the state of the US right now, fiscally, politically, and globally.

    HSBC’s US CEO & blah blah blah (I think you said that keeps your attention), made terrible decisions and had terrible timing. John Koelmel, First Niagara’s CEO & blah blah blah, had nothing to do with HSBC’s poor decision making.

    Everyone seems to think First Niagara came in and kicked HSBC out. HSBC closed shop, and were going to sell the assets, whether it be to Key Bank (who bought 60 of the branches by the way), First Niagara, BofA, or anyone else who would have liked to purchase the assets HSBC had. Had BofA, Wells Fargo, or some other massive non-local bank have made the purchase, the branches wouldn’t have been saved and thousands of jobs in the area would have been lost, and then you’d never get your sports championship, because the Bills would be gone, possibly to Toronto, where there is an HSBC on every other corner. And if you consider the NHL a “major” sport, get the word out to the rest of the country before the Sabres win a cup, so we can rub it in the faces of other cities that Buffalo is the CEO AND, oh wait, just the CEO of the NHL, instead of continuing the pathetic inferiority complex these sports teams give us.

    Problem #4 – It’s just really not true. At all.
    “…to make it even easier for you to bank with us …”

    “Easier? Seriously? You know what WAS easy? Me coexisting with my previous bank”where we had established the ground rules (they take some of my money on a regular basis,” That bank left.

    “…and they never, ever contacted me).” B_lls%!t.

    re-establish my autopays, automatic withdrawals, etc. (this takes hours) – how many people do you owe money to? You did this over a long stretch of time with your old bank as new payments were necessary, was there a reason you needed it all setup for you on day one? Also, many of the web banking setups did come over for most customers, sounds like you were unlucky.

    find out that the new checks you issued were tied to a long dead and empty checking account with the ensuing bounced check mayhem.
    – open checking accounts were transferred. It was in the main communication packet you received. Oh wait…

    wait for new ATM cards with no way to get to my money
    – ATM cards were issued well in advance of the conversion. If you needed money over that weekend, the communication packet you received had details with your options. Oh wait. . .

    discover that the new ATM machine isn’t functioning yet
    – the machines were down the weekend of the conversion. If you needed money over that weekend, the communication packet you received had details with your options. Oh wait. . .

    correct your mistaken auto-pay system to prevent 3 double payments,
    – the amount of work put into the transition between the two banks was enormous. Ideally everything would be perfect. Life isn’t ideal, and there were many communications about the transition and some specific to web banki…oh wait.

    make good on the fees charged to my auto-pay recipients because their deposits bounced;

    multitple bank visits, voice mails, and phone calls to resolve all of the above.
    – I’m sure you would much rather have dealt with Rajeet in India to resolve these problems had they have happened at HSBC. And, from what you’re stating, all of the above was resolved. Sounds like First Niagara is evil to me.

    Problem #5 – Um, you’re still a bank.
    After the necessary and meaningless filler section about jobs, empowerment, and commitment, the ad wraps up by saying,
    “We’re ready to rock and roll, Buffalo and Western New York, and it’s going to be something really special.”

    – Yes, “Raise the Green Flag” is so much more clever. Then you blame First Niagara for the Sabres’ poor home record. Pop culture hypocrisy at it’s best.

    By the way,
    Sabres Home Record in 11-12 (as First Niagara Center): 21-12-8 (50 pts)
    Sabres Away Record in 11-12: 18-20-3 (39 pts)

    The Sabres Home Record in 10-11 (as HSBC Arena): 21-16-4 (46 pts)
    The Sabres Away Record in 10-11: 22-13-6 (50 pts)

  4. My husband and I were HSBC customers, who became First Niagara customers as part of the merger.

    We live in Hilton, NY, a small village about 25 miles northwest of Rochester.

    This past weekend, some loser(s) stole thousands and thousands of dollars from Hilton residents. How did they do this? Most likely by attaching a skimming device to the bank’s ATM, which captured the card information of everyone who used the machine.

    They then went down to Long Island and over the course of 3 days, withdrew a pile of money from Citibank ATM’s using the card information they got from the FN ATM in Hilton and are probably having one hell of a party.

    My husband and I were hit for $2400. Who knows how much they got from everyone else. Our money will be replaced in 7-10 days along with any charges we incurred for bounced checks. We were issued new cards today.

    The Secret Service is investigating as well as the FBI, local law enforcement and FN’s fraud department.

    So, what matters to me is not some silly radio ad. It’s the branch manager who gave me her card and said “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Call me if you have any questions.”

    It’s being able to have a new card made up on the spot.

    It’s knowing that this can happen anywhere, so switching banks is not going to protect us. What gives us some sense of comfort is knowing that they are taking care of their customers.

    To me, that is pretty special.

  5. This post absolutely made my day! We’ve been bombarded with the exact same ad down here in Binghamton and I can’t stop laughing every time I hear the end (“… ready to rock and roll Binghamton and the Southern Tier”).

  6. I have been with First Niagara Bank for 5 years .The customer service in this bank has exceeded my expectations. Manager helped me get organized in a way that has helped me grow my business. I recommend that any young entrepreneur or start up to get signed up with their business banking services as it can be difficult for an artist/creative person to get organized. I also have an account here and I am very satisfied with this bank.

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