Commuters on the southbound 190 see this every day. It’s a message from the Bills so large that it has to span seven lanes of highway traffic to make its point. There’s this part on the right… … which makes absolutely no sense until you pair it with this one way over there on the left. Ah. Now it makes… well, actually, we’re still not sure we get it. We’ve got some questions about your billboards, Buffalo Bills. We’ve got some about your team, too.
1. If the tickets are so hot, why are you spending money to advertise them on a billboard?
2. What exactly do you mean by “hottest ticket in town”?
“Quick, buy them from us right now… before StubHub has them for $5 a pop.”
3. What exactly do you mean by “radiant heat”?
Are you seriously talking about the “heat” coming off the field from your 6-10 (again) football team?
4. Can E.J. play?
Please say yes.
5. Can Darryl Talley (who turned 54 last week) beat up Donte Whitner?
6. Have you really missed the playoffs for 14 consecutive seasons?
You have, Russ. You have.
7. Who do you think you are?
I guess, as Buffalo’s lone professional sports team that ISN’T gunning for the number one overall pick in next year’s draft, you’ve got what the folks in marketing would call “an edge.”
8. Did you really trade next year’s first round pick to Cleveland?
9. Is Ko Simpson still worth millions (or is he broke now)?
10. Does advertising on billboards work?
It just didn’t. Get out of my face with your shyster marketing voodoo. There should be only one marketing strategy for any team ever– WIN!
11. How dumb do you think we are?
Actually, it’s unlikely that you have overestimated us in this regard. See you at the Ralph!