Oh hey there. Glad you’re still with us. The Bills played a game in Miami against the Dolphins on Sunday. Here’s how it went.
Hahaha just kidding. More like this:
First Quarter13:46 — Ryan Tannehill threw 14-yard pass to Reggie Bush (0-0 tie)
So it’s going to be that kind of game…
9:37 — Nate Kaeding’s 46-yard field goal attempt blocked by Alex Carrington (0-0 tie)
Let’s get nasty.
9:37 — Ryan Fitzpatrick throws 13-yard pass to C.J. Spiller (0-0 tie)
8:33 — Fitzpatrick throws 25-yard pass to Scott Chandler (0-0 tie)
7:12 — Fitzpatrick throws 8-yard pass to Stevie Johnson (0-0 tie)
Johnson fumbles. Dolphins recover.
2:54 — Tannehill throws 17-yard touchdown pass to Bush (7-0 Dolphins)
Let’s get out of here!
2:48 — Spiller gets three straight carries, picks up first down (7-0 Dolphins)
It’s the only gift Chan’s giving you this year. Enjoy it, sucker.
0:37 — Fitzpatrick throws 22-yard pass to “The Coach” Chuck Dickerson (7-0 Dolphins)
So… since when is he a part of the offense?
Second Quarter12:35 — Bills punter punts. Dolphins punter punts also (7-0 Dolphins)
12:00 — Spiller runs for 62-yard gain (7-0 Dolphins)
This run was amazing. What came next, of course, was not.
11:07 — Fitzpatrick throws incomplete pass on first down (7-0 Dolphins)
11:02 — Tashard Choice runs for 3-yard loss on second down (7-0 Dolphins)
10:25 — R. Fitzpatrick runs for 2-yard gain on third down (7-0 Dolphins)
9:48 — Rian Lindell kicked a 42-yard field goal (7-3 Dolphins)
2:59 — Punt. Punt. Punt. Punt (7-3 Dolphins)
Now is a good time to mention the Bills have a home game against the Jets on Sunday. Good seats still available!
Amputate the whole state.
2:22 — Tannehill throws 30-yard pass to Rishard Matthews (7-3 Dolphins)
2:00 — Tannehill ran for 31 yard gain (7-3 Dolphins)
That’s basically what the Bills defense has looked like all year.
0:42 — Bush runs for 1-yard touchdown (14-3 Dolphins)
That’ll do it, folks. Go shopping or something.
Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em.
12:45 — Fitzpatrick throws 21-yard pass to former WGR 550 radio personality “The Coach,” Chuck Dickerson. (14-3 Dolphins)
The Coach fumbles. Dolphins recover.
Santa is dead.
12:45 — Lamar Miller rushed for 28-yard gain (14-3 Dolphins)
No idea who that is.
8:32 — Tannehill throws 12-yard touchdown to Bush (21-3 Dolphins)
Please. Take me away from this game.
8:32 — Spiller gets four straight carries for 15 yards (21-3 Dolphins)
Better get these in when we can.
5:35 — Fitzpatrick sacked by Cameron Wake (21-3 Dolphins)
Fitzpatrick fumbles. Dolphins recover.
Oh, Ryan. Look at you.
4:17 — Nate Kaeding kicks 45-yard field goal (24-3 Dolphins)
He made it.
4:05 — Brad Smith runs for 1 yard in Wildcat on 2nd and 20 (24-3 Dolphins)
Uh… let’s check with Chan Gailey, who is the head coach of the Buffalo Bills.
Oh. There’s the playbook. Let’s check that out.
2:47 — Bills go three-and-out. Bills punter punts (24-3 Dolphins)
Merry freaking Christmas.
13:39 — Fitzpatrick throws 6-yard pass to passed to former Bills defensive line coach Chuck “The Coach” Dickerson (24-3 Dolphins)
That’s right, Chuck.
12:19 — Fitzpatrick throws 41-yard pass to T.J. Graham (24-3 Dolphins)
Still two sizes too small.
8:52 — Fitzpatrick throws 2-yard touchdown pass to Brad Smith (24-10 Dolphins)
Worst present ever.
6:35 — Tannehill sacked by Marcel Dareus. Dolphins punt (24-10 Dolphins)
Setting up for the big finish!
5:51 — Fitzpatrick sacked by Olivier Vernon (24-10 Dolphins)
Worse than coal.
2:13 — Fitzpatrick QB sneaks for five yards on fourth and 5 (24-10 Dolphins)
Look at that left tackle, doing… something.
1:14 — Fitzpatrick throws interception right into the hands of Reshad Jones (24-10 Dolphins)
End of Game
You, on Christmas Morning
Enjoy your holidays. We’re going to get through this thing together.