Each of these recent ads posted on Buffalo Craigslist is really tempting for one reason or another.

Still, we advise you to resist the urge to answer them.

AD #1

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Free trip, make-up, AND a DNA test? Jackpot.

DON’T BECAUSE: There are no winners in televised DNA test results.

AD #2

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Earn as much as you want!

DON’T BECAUSE: Not sure why the capitalization of “VERY” makes it creepier, but it does. So does “this is no scam.” That’s what scammers say.

AD #3

TEMPTING BECAUSE: One dollar? That’s super cheap!

DON’T BECAUSE: There MAY be a catch.

AD #4

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Everyone needs companionship.

DON’T BECAUSE: The use of the plural “women” takes this ad from “Maybe he’s a nice guy who wants someone to compete against during ‘Wheel of Fortune'” to “Wait, is he trying to build an elderly harem on wheels?”

AD #5

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Actually, this one isn’t all that tempting… but it’s cheap.

DON’T BECAUSE: Low risk maneuver. Go ahead and buy it then let us know what it is.

AD #6

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Again… companionship.

DON’T BECAUSE: “I don’t care where we’re going… JUST DRIVE THE F***ING CAR!” Plus, what’s in the bag?

AD #7

TEMPTING BECAUSE: Free boats!

DON’T BECAUSE: “I haven’t heard from Bill since he went to the lake in his new boat. The guy on Craigslist who pulled it out of a field and gave it to him for free said it floats, so that can’t be the problem. He must just be busy.”