This is it. I have no idea why I’m back for one night to recap the worst show in television history, but I can assure you that this is my…
Browsing Category Bachelor Recap
ABC wins. Chris Harrison wins. I thought I could outlast them and hate-recap this show until the glorious day that it finally got cancelled, but I can’t. It lasted far…
We’ve reached a precArieous juncture in this season of ‘The Bachelor’. It’s been three weeks and Arie still hasn’t decided which of his 18 girlfriends he’s going to get engaged…
Januarie rolls on and that means we get to watch desperate, emotionally unstable women chase a garbage man on television. Well, I get to watch it. You get to read…
So the Bills made the playoffs for the first time in 17 years (sports quota filled) and my first question was, “How will the universe make me pay for this?”…
You know how sometimes, when you’re taking a shit, it kind of hurts? Anyway, the Bachelor finale is tonight. With fresh venereal diseases on his genitals, Nick explores Finland with…
If someone hit you in the head with a 2×4, you would know what it’s like to watch ’The Bachelor’. If someone hit you in the head with a 2X4…
If you think you have bad luck, think of all the people who died this week without finding out which of Nick’s girlfriends were dumped and which made it to…
I had a dream that I died and God wouldn’t let me into heaven because of all the grammatical errors in my Bachelor recaps. He must have known I’d yell…
Taking a week off from watching The Bachelor is like when your body puts itself into a coma to heal after a horrific car accident. Not watching The Bachelor is…